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My Progress
I started on this site yesterday, 3/24/2012, and have about 90% of it complete. The blog is not my creation and instead is a redesign of the Ermark Urban Blog WordPress theme purchased over @ ThemeForest.com so the only praise I extend is for being able to redesign it to my liking. Aside from adding remaining content the only change I think I’ll have to make will be that of my image located in the lower right hand corner of the screen. The professional side of me says to take it away as it doesn’t “fit” but the rebel in me says to keep it cause it’s mine and it’s part of my creative thinking.

Social Integration
I’ve created new email addresses and have integrated with a few social media accounts, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube to start. I’ll link to a few few others to include Google+ and LinkedIn. So the same applies for every other site I create in that I send tweets from my DRIOD 4 smartphone which automagically creates a new post on my blog while sending a tweet to my Twitter account which in turns creates a new post to my Facebook page. If need be I later update the post with content relevant to that particular thread. Sweet!

Contact: Contact@MarvinCummings.com
Email Address: MCummings@MarvinCummings.com
Facebook URL: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003695888389
Twitter URL: http://www.twitter.com/marvinpcummings
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/marvinpcummings

Network Status
This site, MarvinCummings.com, sits as a network under my family’s network. This in turns allows me to host an unlimited number of my own initiatives, websites. More to come in a separate post. So stay tuned.

Monetization
One of the final steps in configuring this new website will be to configure it to generate revenue. This will require me monetizing it by configuring my Google Adsense and placing ads from some of my other campaigns. Before doing this I’ll let the site mature and draw visitors. More to come on this so stay tuned.

Until then look for personal posts from me here and new business ventures and executions over @ MarvinCummings.com.

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Purpose for the trip:
Assist in migrating our server environment from the existing SunGard data center facility to a new hosted facility located three blocks away.

Action Items:

• Install and configure new domain controller and jump servers.
• Install and configure three (3) 2-node SQL database clusters.
• Install additional servers and prep for data migrations.
• Schedule and manage to removal of any standalone servers and blades to the new facility.
• Re-purpose hardware for other migration tasks.

With this being my first time visiting Philadelphia I’m hoping to take a minute and view some of the sites the city has to offer so look for videos starting upon my arrival to the airport.

Stay tuned.

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42 years old and I’m just seeing my first ever Alvin Ailey concert! Wow! I hesitated for a minute as I didn’t think I was up to making the trip but I’m glad I did as it was well worth it.

The Fox Theatre
The atmosphere was pleasant, as usual. I couldn’t take any pictures or shoot any video once the show started and I out of respect to the artists and my neighbors I honestly didn’t feel like trying to sneak any. I lucked up and set next to some nice people who were open and engaging. So we were able to talk before and in between shows. No one was disappointed so we were all able to keep a positive vibe.

The Performances
Tonight’s program consisted of performances entitled Arden Court, Home, Takedeme, and Revelations. Here’s a brief review of each:

Arden Court
The first in the program with a classical theme and an emphasis on ballet and pure strength. The performers, both men and women, were strong, yet graceful. For it to have been my first I was really impressed.

Home
My favorite of all performances hands down! Centered on a “deep house” theme with pure emphasis on dance and energy. I couldn’t stop moving as they jammed in elegant rhythm to one of my all time favorite songs. The song titled “Underground Is My Home” was released by Dennis Ferrer in 2006. This performance, Home, is a new addition to the Alvin Ailey dance theatre and was created by choreographer Rennie Harris to bring awareness to people living with HIV. In addition the performance was dedicated to the late Alvin Ailey who succumbed to AIDS at the age of 58 in 1989. The passion displayed on stage was exhilarating! Again, my favorite, hands down.

Reference: http://www.alvinailey.org/home
Song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUCxGBN-a4M

Reference: http://www.fighthivyourway.com/
Alvin Ailey: http://www.alvinailey.org/about/people
Alvin Ailey: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alvin_Ailey

Takedeme
A fast moving, yet disciplined, solo created by Mr. Battle lasting only four (4) minutes. Nothing but pure energy moving in rhythm to what are called vocalized rhythmic syllables.

Reference: http://www.alvinailey.org/takademe

Revelations
Obviously well known to those familiar with the Alvin Ailey circuit. Revelations brought claps and cheers at the opening and throughout the entire performance. A spiritual ensemble laced with gospel songs that seemed to tell stories of pain, joy, and celebration from our African American ancestors. This one calmed me down a little and stirred some unexpected emotions. I don’t know if it was the lyrics, the music, or the pain and passion displayed by the performers. Nevertheless I was poised and fully engaged throughout the entire performance. This one had me thinking about my own pains, struggles, and accomplishments. I then began to think about the artists and their struggles to get to this point. About the late Mr. Ailey and his vision and how it has touched the lives of so many. Just awesome! Helps to put a lot into perspective. Talk about a Legacy!

Reference: http://www.alvinailey.org/about/company/alvin-ailey-american-dance-theater/repertory/revelations

I was later informed that Revelations is considered the climax of just about every Alvin Ailey performance which is why it’s so popular. The more you Know, the more you Grow!

In Summary
I’m a new found fan and will be attending an Alvin Ailey performance whenever possible. In addition I’m making it a mission to view one of the classes live whenever I make it to New York this year.

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Why Defeated?
Let me say that although it’s a hard emotion to deal with feeling defeated is nothing new as I’ve embraced it as something that’s expected when sacraficing for something. So I’m not at a point to where I’m contemplating doing anything harmful to myself. If anything I’m forced to come to grips with the reality of my situation. A reality that basically states that I’m so vested into my dreams and bringing them to fruition that I can’t turn back. The other reality is that because I’ve spent so much time and energy in pursuing my dreams that I now stand on the edges of faith where I’m faced with both doubt and fear. Doubt from constantly failing that I worry if I’ll ever be able to gain the success in that I’m working towards. Afraid that I lack the motivation to work any harder to gaining the success I’m seeking. Throw in the external bullshit that somes with just trying to live and find happiness it makes everything just that much harder because you have to deal with other peoples limitations and restrictions. Not to knock anyone as I’m aware that I, and I alone, am responsible for bring my dreams to fruition. Again, when I look back at the route taken to get to this point I have to question myself and my motivations for the negative results.

Stay or Jump?
This is the question facing me today as I take a deep dive into marvC aka Marvin Cummings. There’s no worse feeling than looking into yourself and feeling as though you have nothing to show for your efforts. In my mind I feel as though my sole purpose is to help bring change, empower, and help to renew. This is something I strive for in myself therefore I make it my charge to help activate it in others. Not to come across as some bible thumping hypocrit for I know where my challenges are as an individual. Therefore I opt to use the skills I feel I’ve been Blessed with to help create the platforms needed to bring about change. The work that goes into creating these platforms comsumes time and eats away at life therefore it comes with a price. Again this is nothing new as there’s work in everything so again I acknowledge the work. So again the question, stay or jump? Jump!

Why Jump? Why not Stay?
I jump because like I stated earlier it’s too late to turn back. Some people get to a point to where they get tired of failing at things and opt to go into different directions. After a while you get tired of falling as the more you fall the harder it is to pick yourself up and try again. This is where I’m at in that I’ve fallen harder than I’ve ever fallen; I’ve dusted myself off as much as I can, and I’m once again standing on the edge of “Faith” contemplating my next leap.

My Realization
It’s dark and tears blur my vision. I can feel the fires from the flames below and through the fires I can see images of both my past failures and successes. I close my eyes and can literally see me transitioning from the flame into this new creature. I throw my head back and let out a loud SCREAM but it goes unheard. Again I scream, and scream, and scream. I’m crying, it hurts so bad! Why! I ask. I fall to my knees, head in my hands. It makes no sense I say. My failures, they make so sense! Speak to me! Guide me! Show me the way! I yell again. Oh God! Oh God! Give me strength! A loud moan comes from within. My chest starts to rattle and I’m overcome with emotion. First comes hatred. Hatred towards all things leading me back to this place. Next comes sorrow and sadness for my own part in being here. Then comes happiness as I realize I’m not here to stay. I start to see light and I realize once again my plight. This isn’t where I’m suppose to be. I start to see through the hurt, anger, and sadness my successes. I see Love and Happiness. I see riches and glory. I see Salvation and Peace. So I jump! Once again I feel His Grace covering me as I hover. Once again my convictions and beliefs are strong! He’s shown me Mercy once again. And because of this I continue my journey.

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Road Route: http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=5280413

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vGrSaFfaV0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3pfeh2U8dQU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qH-Zqudx06Q

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-IUWlzjVHU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzaJBOMh_08

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Now some would wonder where I’m coming from since 2012 started in January. I started celebrating my new year at the beginning of my birth month years ago while serving in Saudi Arabia. The one thing that serving in the military and participating in war teaches you is that you’re not promised tomorrow. So when I’m able to make it to the next day and then to my next birthday sane and capable I see that as reason to celebrate. In addition with me being a late bloomer there’s always something lingering at the end of the year which ends up carrying over into the next year. So I usually need a little time to clear my slate before I’m able to really get into any of the plans I have for the new year.

So here’s my ending to 2011:

The time has come to cleanse my plate,
and account for consequences which sealed my fate.
I wipe the slate and bid thee adieu
of the pains and sufferings inflicted by you.
Farewell to promises I couldn’t keep,
fueled by broken dreams of prosperity which hindered my sleep.
Farewell to dreams that told of riches and glory,
replaced by spoiled fruit harvested with tourmoil and worry.
Farewell to negative thoughts spoken outloud and from within.
I set aflame to these burdens and will account for my sins.

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Kirk Franklin – The NU Nation Project
Track #9 Hold Me Now

The spring of April’s gone, the leaves have all turned brown.
The children are all grown up and there’s no one around.
I’m looking over my life and all the mistakes I’ve made.
And I’m afraid, afraid!
Somebody told me that you would wash all my sins,
and cleanse me from the scars that are so deep within.
So I’m calling to you! If you can hear me I don’t know how!
I was wondering, can you hold me now?

You are the only one that patient when I fall.
Your angels come to save me everytime I call.
You don’t laugh at me when I make mistakes and cry.
You’re not like man, You understand me!
See people change one day they don’t like you, the next they do!
I wish that everyone could love me just like you.
So here I am, this sinful man, peace won’t allow.
I was wondering, can you hold me now?
I was wondering, can you hold me now?

I know it seems like the storm will never pass,
and it seems like the rain will never end.
The red sea is infront of you, Pharoah and his armies behind you.
But my brother if you look your head up to the sky,
God has not forgotten you and His angels will camp around you.
For he’ll never leave you nor forsake you.

To every broken person that may hear this song.
To every boy or girl that feels their smile is gone.
I know exactly how it feels to lay in the bed at night.
and cry, and cry!
Don’t you worry God is Faithful and He cares!
Of all the tears of joy and the pain you feel, He’s there!
When you are, that’s when he’s strong!
Even though you don’t know how!
God can and He will hold you now!
God can and He will hold you now!
God can and He will hold you now!
Don’t you worry He can hold you now!

I’ve been feeling like crap these past few days and could really use a good word! So whenever I get this way I pull out this CD and listen to tracks #9 & #10. Because I’m so thankful for this song I felt like writing the words to have as a point of reference.

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What are Dreams and Desires?
I define a dream as a subconscious response to a desire. Desires to me are things that satisfy, or speak to, particular or specific needs. If you think or want something bad enough you begin to dream and justify your reason for having it. So much so that you see yourself participating in, or living, that dream.

At What Cost?
Dreams and desires can be expensive and the chances you take pursuing them can cost you dearly. So I ask how far you’ve gone and at what cost because there are times where they can become unrealistic, unattainable, and unnecessary. At some point you have to realize that you’ve become so consumed that you’ve lost touch with the reality of your situation. This reality can be that you simply don’t NEED what it is you desire. So the first problem is coming to grips with this revelation and the other is learning how to either deal with or walk away from it. This can be hard depending on the amount of time, energy, or effort you feel you’ve invested into this, or any, particular endeavor.

Easier Said Than Done – My Dream or Desire Example
I write about it as I live it. I have a deep fascination with Range Rovers and the Porche Carerra. They’re expensive luxuary vehicles with a high cost of ownership and I absolutely love them! Do my lifestye warrant the need for either of these vehicles? No? But my dream and desire is to own the latest of either of these particular models. So I’m working my @$$ off to get to a point to where my lifestyle affords me the opportunity to own either of these vehicles. In the meantime I currently own a 1994 Range Rover County LWD. It suits my lifestyle because it represents where I’m at and what I’m trying to get to, which is the next level. So I absolutely adore this vehicle and had dreamed of owning one for years. At the time of purchasing it I had another vehicle so the plan is, and always has, been to restore and drive the Rover sparingly. I’ve treasured this vehicle and it has gotten me through some tough times. In fact it’s lasted longer than any of my other vehicles. Over the years this thing has become more of a burden than a desire because I’ve had to drive it more than expected. This has resulted in expensive repairs and continued maintenance. So I’m at a place now where I have no stability in the form of transportation and I’m not where I can go out and purchase another Range Rover.

My Reality
I ask myself if it’s time to walk away from this dream, or desire, and seek stability through some other form of transportation? This is just the reality of this particular situation. I still have a continued dream and desire to own this type of vehicle but I need a more stable mode of transportation. So my challenge is not just walking away from my Range Rover but also walking away from a lifestyle which I’m pursuing.

Closing
It’s usually obvious, as in this particular scenario, what needs to be done. The challenge, for some, is figuring out how to move on. You get stuck on hope so you find yourself regressing and remaining idle. As I right this I’ve come to grips with the reality of leaving my rover in pursuiant of stability. It sucks but it’s necessary as I still dream and desire for that which I don’t need, at this particular time.

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